When I wrote about you
All those years ago
It started with “so you see there’s this boy”
Because no matter how much I looked up to you for answers
You weren’t the man I needed to protect me
Weren’t the man I needed to show me how men should act
Weren’t the man who would look at a little girl
With anything but hungry eyes
So you see there was this boy
Who feasted on my womanhood with such a fierce gluttony
That for years i couldn’t stomach the thought of it
Who planted a seed in a field he couldn’t tend
Who let the storms rage
Who let the rivers run tainted with the blood I couldn’t hold
Who left
So you see there was this boy
Who got everything he wanted
And took back every gift he ever gave me
Because I didn’t match the veneers
So you see there was this boy
Who returned to me for fun and games
When playing house had too many rules
Trying to convince me to cheat
As a way to settle some long lost score
A child playing a man’s game
One he couldn’t understand
So you see there was this boy
Who now stands before me, a grown woman
Trying to convince me he’s a changed man
Asking me for the emotional labor of the mother I could not be
And I have nothing left to give
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